Fatima's Last Live
"Fatima's last tour will make brilliant memories. And that's where the Exit will be."
- Kanoma, quoted from Cure 7.2005
Nationwide, Fatima's Last Oneman Tour "Exit" went from the southernmost island, Kyushu to the northernmost, Hokkaido. Setlists varied, each song performed to its fullest capacity. Some of the most notable performances ranged from covers (dou ni mo tomaranai) to downer versions of songs (marvellous, candy strippers, ssb). One song especially hits me at this point: Fortune. Understandably, they did not play it at the last live. The haunting music, how the lights play on all of the members, the lyrics, and the stillness in the crowd: I just cannot express how effective Fortune is. How effective Fatima is.
"Within the five of us, when we're playing the last song, that's when it will really hit us the most, I'm thinking. In regards to Fatima ... it will be the very last moment that we play a sound ... at that time. We met in order to do music, and so when it's time to play the last song..."
- Lay, quoted from Cure 7.2005
6 . 28 . 2005 : Grand Finale
Shibuya O-EAST
written by: nakigoe
ticket numbers: 581, 582
Shibuya O-EAST was dimly lit, filled with rabid fan girls and slow-crawling smoke. A transparent black screen hid the stage, with the exception of a small opening in the center. Scrunched up on 4ge's side, Steph, Irina, and I were comfortably against the saizen bar. It had taken over an hour to get inside; we were exhausted from June's summer heat. Still, in the midst of cameramen setting up and blaring techno, ajisai (blue ribbons rubberbanded together by the frontline Tokyoites) was passed out to almost everyone in the pit. With ajisai and lighters ready, the three of us watched the stage anxiously.
Tokyo' 77 signaled everyone's attention, and we began to clap along with the intro. The boys came on stage quietly.
[scanned from SHOXX 9.2005]
4ge and Mizuha were in their normal spots. There was a set of stairs leading to a closed pink door. On this set of stairs there was a level for both Lay and Towa. Kanoma's center spot was empty. The beginnings of sakura meiro filled the livehouse, and there was no real push, at least where we were. There was sakuing and screaming for the boys. Kanoma's voice stirred, and he opened the pink door at the back of the stage. He carefully stepped down the stairs. The sadness in the instruments, and the focused look on Kanoma's face created a very lost feeling, as well as a never ending one. Add in the pink swirling lights, and how soft they made the stage: we were in a sakura meiro [maze].
We had finally made it to the Grand Finale.
[scanned from SHOXX 9.2005]
As sakura meiro came to an end, the curtains were fully withdrawn, and quickly they transitioned into kesenai ame. There was a sudden spray of fireworks; the boys jump started. Lay insanely spun and shook around, as always. All of the other members were caught in the intensity of "furidashita ame sae mo; itsushika wa hare sora ni natte nagarete yuku kedo." I could see Towa's egao [smiling face] from where I was. I could also see 4ge singing along (if you can call it singing along, it's more like he mouths 'pop' for the duration of songs XD;).
This is where everything becomes very blurred together. I always lose myself at Fatima shows. They completely consume me in their music and performance, plus being in the pit means you cannot simply stand-and-stare, which only makes you a target for the likes of downer, ssb, and candy strippers. The furi for shoujo to kuroozetto and Blind was feverish.
Following the cover dounimotomaranai and ssb, Kanoma talked about the "string" that connects everyone. He showed his pinkies, and demonstrated the tightness of such a string. And so began tsumugi ito. This song really makes you feel as though you are moving from one uncertain place to another. Kanoma's gestures are very strict and exact. And a sidenote for those unfamiliar with this song: the "red string" that he talks about in this song (and which is shown in the Exit booklet) most likely symbolizes fate.
Katatsumuri. Kanoma whipped out his tamborine, and began to swing it around maniacally. I swear his arm was going to fall off! At the more melodic point in the song, 4ge and Lay turned inward with their guitars, pointing at Kanoma. Mizuha somehow joined Kanoma in the dance, and they circled one another playfully.
After such a whimsical performance, Fatima theremin'd into peanut. Kanoma changed character instantly, embodying the clown who is starving for attention from a girl in the audience who shows no emotion. The lights are dark, and I swear there is a red glow (but I could be wrong, as I was trying to follow the song quickly). Kanoma stumbled around in his creepy manner. The other members assumed an obsessive dark bitterness. And during the part in which the clown tightrope walks and suddenly falls to his death, Kanoma fell down the stairs onstage. "warattekureru kana? [will you smile for me?]"
Pulling ourselves out of the circus, we weren't quite ready for the curtains falling. Kanoma was the only one exposed. I caught Towa escaping off stage through the translucent black curtain, and wondered why the other band members weren't following. I thought perhaps this was for a costume change, but to everyone's surprise (and to our right, as Kanoma had motioned us to look) a curtain pulled up and revealed Towa at the piano. They began a piano version of muchina inochi e.
[scanned from SHOXX 9.2005]
The interplay of Towa's piano skills, and Kanoma's talented vocals was fantastic. He has grown so much in his vocals compared to last year, when I saw them for the first time. This song has grown in its meaning to me since the kaisan had been announced. It was at the point in which Kanoma vocalized desperation, "atari mae no you ni zutto soba ni irunda to omotteta [I thought I would always be by your side]" that we were absolutely still, lost in velvet. I wanted it to last forever.
The whole band was silent. The curtains lifted, and flames lit up the stage. We were someplace tribal, as the background of the stage appeared jungle-industrial-like, if that makes sense. :D And then I knew with the first beat, ah, Marvellous. I've become obsessed with this song, since hearing it. It's a very hard song, and wonderful in that sense. A lot of crashing, and there's this part that just builds up anticipation. And during such a part, you throw your arms out forward. I always find myself excited and ready to rush!
Sticky flower was performed, though the crowd lacked the insanity from last year. Fatima followed up with good ol' Humiliate me more, Darlin'. The intensity would not end, we were suddenly catapulted into the furi for aishuu no teihen. We began the roll of our fists, and pointing out to either side. The whole pit moved together, especially when the pointing part came. ("acchi wa acchi ...") During the crazy interlude, they formed their "lost boys" circle, and danced around hyperactively, sometimes running into each other; 4ge shot at the crowd with his guitar. Bang!
A yell of "kanpai!" and doriimaazu kept us on our feet. I especially have come to love everything that is doriimaazu, and watching the boys do each of their parts is hilarious. It reminds me of musicals, when a scene suddenly breaks into song and dance.
Downer was next. Absolutely amazing! I've always loved this song because of its craziness. Kanoma yelled, "saizen!" and the headbanging, rushing, and becoming what is known as "the pit" ensued. Kanoma became masturbatory ("ahhh! ah! ah!"), and at the point in which there is downtime during the song, he ended up on the stairs. Lay came up the stairs, and straddled ontop of a sprawled out Kanoma. They stayed like that for quite some time before Lay had to go to his theremin, and begin the weird vocals. Kanoma followed along in mechanical gestures.
Some interesting MCs for the live were mixed in within the songs. I can't remember when exactly, but I can slightly remember what had happened. There were the obligatory member introductions. First was Towa, and he had a drum solo, and made us (as he had been throughout the tour) call out his name with every smack of his drumstick. Then Kanoma moved onto Lay who played a bit of theremin, and showed off his bass-playing skills.
Kanoma then moved onto Mizuha, and Mizuha played the pink panther song. In the middle, Kanoma whispered to 4ge. He told him that this was/or/reminded (can't remember it clearly) of the time when he was shot by 4ge. 4ge stared at him, silent. Still, Kanoma playfully provoked 4ge. 4ge played for the crowd something wonderful: the X-files opening theme. I didn't think someone could do that on the guitar! He's so freaking awesome! :D He continued with the Super Mario Bros theme, and then Bowser dungeon song (he'd been playing these quite often at the last tour lives, which always brings a smile to my face).
Downer's static end led us into the intro for Public eyes. This song has always had a weird, and strange feeling to it. A feeling of violence, chaos, and death. In the beginning you lift your hand up with whatever member you want to follow, salute, and then rush, or be rushed. As always, everyone was ready for the shove. This one small girl behind me was trying to pummel us and three or four girls next to us (it was awesome!). The guy that had been to the left of me had suddenly disappeared into the masses. Another unforgettable performance, though haunting. Candy Strippers was next, turning everyone wild.
They had been playing ajisai last in almost all of their performances during the tour (at least for the show, not encores), but at Niigata they had gone from soft to very hard songs, and had played ajisai somewhere in the beginning. But this was probably the best way to end the major part of the show. We got to use the ajisai distributed by the Tokyoites and waved them in the air throughout the song. The members were very happy with such a show of support, but I especially remember Kanoma's smile. It was so sparkling, so proud.
As the members left the stage, there was no screaming for encores. It had been the same for all of the other last tour performances, and I found myself yelling: "Fatima! Fatima!" In the echo of support, roadies emerged and fixed the stage. They placed a stand holding sheets of paper in the middle of the stage. The boys came out, and immediately fans began screaming their names. Kanoma introduced what was next: an Exit version of Love me. I couldn't catch everything he said other than that he had wrote the new lyrics recently. I think he even said during the tour, but I'm not sure, so don't take my word on it. However, you can read these special lyrics on their OHP.
[scanned from SHOXX 9.2005]
It was a performance that I'm sure no one will forget, especially Lay and Kanoma. Kanoma actually sat down to sing the song, Lay sat down beside him and played. It was a very different version than the slow version they had been playing, plus the lyrics were indeed special. The lighting was an amazing blue, and the sound made you tremble. All of the band members wore an expression of relief. The fans were quiet, and smiling.
Such beautiful tones led to the two next songs Persona and Noble king snake. Finally doing the whole lighter thing during the quiet part of Noble king snake (I've either forgotten my lighter, or failed to purchase one from a staff girl XD;) was thrilling. Crazy bouncing made the whole mass of the pit stumble about. It was so fun XD;
After Fatima left the stage, the screens on each side of the stage began to show very old footage of past concerts. It went from the very beginning to practically the end: Kanoma bundled up in bandages, catsuited, or being humped by Lay against bars; Mizuha wearing skirts, and rocking out with a wrestler mask over his face; Lay was instigating fanservice, and crazily dancing as always; flashes of 4ge in his pink dress and footage of him shooting Kanoma at kinema, I believe; Towa bright and vibrant, as well as the center of attention at Towa day in Yokohama; Zen with sunglasses and growling into the mic; Daisuke at the drums!; Flashes of Nao, and flashes of I <3 EROS. These are just a few things that I remember from the videos. It was so wonderful, and before we knew it the livehouse filled with a dark mourning and wailing, and tears of fans. The live footage faded to black.
[scanned from SHOXX 9.2005]
Kanoma then introduced shizumu taion, and announced it would be the last song they would play. I like this song, but it has never had any real special meaning to me other than when they had had the curtains up for one of their performances I had been to last year, and played the whole song without dropping it. All the fans at that time had been all: "eeeee?" Yet, this performance gave shizumu taion an important deeper meaning to me, one that is both sad, happy, but still empty. The stage was dark, give or take the blueish or was it pinkish lights? It started to snow. Kanoma lost his voice during the song, and kneeled, quietly. Some fans cheered him on with "ganbare!," however, it was most likely the hardest song that Kanoma/Hitomi/Sanaka ever had to sing. I knew Kanoma was in tears, and looking across the span of the stage, I watched the other members. That was when I finally began to feel the blow of the kaisan.
[scanned from SHOXX 9.2005]
I first caught sight of 4ge, who was trying his best to keep focused, playing energetically. Still, he was sniffing, and seemed to be shaking. He was desperately trying to stop from crying. Snow fell around him. He kept on playing. I looked at Towa, who was smiling. Even during one of the hardest songs ever for all of us fans and members, he smiled through his tears. The drumming was amazing. No one should ever underestimate the kindness in Towa, as well as his talents. Lay, in the far back, and somewhat hard to see, had his head bowed. He hid his face from the crowd, or so it seemed. However, I caught him. His mascara was running. I couldn't really see Mizuha's expression, but his 'exit' would speak worlds.
They exited through the pink door upstage. I was trembling. I wanted to scream, "don't go," but knew : "mou dame da." 4ge was the first to exit. As bouncy, and vibrant as he is when he usually leaves the stage, when he put down his guitar, he did not even look at the audience. Walking very slowly towards the stairs, he went towards the open door, with bright lights behind it. Enveloped in those lights, 4ge then disappeared.
[scanned from SHOXX 9.2005]
Mizuha was next to exit. From what Steph and I have translated, we got the sense that Mizuha did not want to think about the kaisan until the end. And how he set down his guitar with such a feeling of loss -- I was desperate to hear him yell, or even just spit water out at the fans just once more! But like 4ge, his figure dissolved into the lights past the door.
Towa went after Mizuha. I believe he was smiling, but my mind was overflowing with such sadness that I could barely concentrate. As he disappeared, everyone was anxious about Lay and Kanoma. They had to exit. It was inevitable.
Lay set down his bass. He came down the stairs, and lingered near Kanoma for quite some time. I couldn't really see from where I was, but his mascara smeared face exited. No one could breathe. And the attention shifted completely onto Kanoma. It was becoming frantic. No one wanted the show to end like this, and no one wanted them to leave. We wanted them to play until five in the morning; Kanoma began to ascend the stairs. The lights engulfed him, but he turned before closing the door, waving to everyone. All I could hear in my head, as the door closed was: "suteki na yume arigatou ... kami yo sayonara."
[scanned from SHOXX 9.2005]
The lights went down. Everyone began to yell for Fatima. Steph, Irina, and I thought that this was going to be how it would end. And we felt miserable. Suddenly, the boys came back onto stage. They came out together all at once. Instantly, panties and bras were thrown onto stage, and onto the members. Obscenities, garters, negligees, and some masks. One black mask was thrown, and Kanoma gave it to 4ge. 4ge bowed at it in thanks. Lay got a mask, and so did Mizuha. Kanoma also put bras ontop of some of the members' heads. It was laughter, fun, and then a sudden shove/rush/headbang fest: dorii maazu, ssb downer version, and Candy Strippers.
[scanned from SHOXX 9.2005]
Throughout the tour, Steph and I had noticed that fans were starting to crowdsurf for many of the harder songs. It's insane! And they'll fall onto the cement, hit their heads, and look as though they've broken something, but then pop up to their feet, laugh, and scamper back into the pit. So when Candy Strippers started, people were everywhere. Kanoma was stripping, and rubbing his ass, and throwing his clothes off into the crowd infront of him. Lay, at least what I can recall, was spinning about, and insanely dancing. 4ge was spilling water out into the crowd and one girl was drinking from the bottle he was holding over her head. It was hilarious. I believe Mizuha came over to do more of his water-spit-ups. Kanoma came over wide-eyed, and shaking hands. It was just chaos. It was the only way to know, to feel that everything will go on, and that Fatima will remain in our hearts, glittering.
[scanned from SHOXX 9.2005]
Spilling out of the livehouse, and running presents to the band. Though I was sure to photocapture the many flower arrangements for dear Fatima from friends, magazines, etc. They are truly a respected band. The balcony area for reserved was completely packed! Aya (PLC), Seek (PLC), and Tatsurou (MUCC -- who said SUMIMASEN to Steph and I while we were waiting in line to get to the doors of the livehouse, and then giggled like little girls at us as they passed!!!) were there. I'm sure Zen, Nao, Daisuke, and a ton of other bandmen had attended. Family was present as well (some moms had been running past us when the doors opened).
Visual kei has been a dying scene for quite some time, since it's fallout of popularity (and the surge of idols into the mainstream). Fatima is a band that stands out among all of the horrible oshare-kei, Malice Mizer wannabes, and re-hashed visual bands. Fatima will live on, at least in my own heart. I never really felt like I was a part of Fatima until I had decided to travel with Fatima about the country. I finally feel as though I can call myself a downer. I completely respect them, and the small shattered space that glitters is full of the memories that they have given me. Visual kei lost something tonight. I found something.
Fatima: Mizuha, Lay, Kanoma, Towa, 4ge,
Thank you for everything.
natsu no otozure ga wakare wo sashitemo
kono mune no naka
omoide, saki-tsutzuketekure
- ajisai, quoted from exit
[ english translation ]
even though we have to put up our umbrellas when summer arrives,
inside our hearts
memories will continue to bloom for all of us
SET LIST [as updated in towa no me # 25]
1. sakura meiro
2. kesenai ame
3. Blind
4. shoujo to kuroozetto
5. dounimotomaranai
6. Star Spangled Butterfly
7. tsumugi ito
8. katatsuburi
9. peanut
10. muchina inochi e (piano ver.)
11. Marvellous
12. Sticky flower
13. Humiliate me more, Darlin'
14. aishuu no teihen
15. dorii maazu
16. Downer
17. Public eyes
18. Candy Strippers
19. ajisai
encore
1. Love Me (to Exit ver.)
2. Persona
3. Noble king snake
4. shizumu taion
5. dorii maazu
6. Sticky flower (Downer ver.)
7. Candy Strippers
PHOTOS/SCANS [taken by nakigoe]
SHIBUYA O-EAST MAP [naki-version]
Ajisai [passed out at final live]
Concert Hall Photo
